


Mercy

by smolhockeybeeb



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2014-2015 NHL Season, Angst, Career Ending Injuries, Coach/Player Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:34:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9284774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolhockeybeeb/pseuds/smolhockeybeeb
Summary: He always is checking up on him too, calling while he’s at the store to see what he’s doing, where he’s doing it, how he’s feeling, almost anything he can ask to make sure Matt’s 100% okay.





	

Getting a season ending sucks bad enough.

Getting a career ending injury however is worse.

People keep saying it was a dive. Fuck you why would he just dive right into the boards his isn’t an idiot.

He can’t believe his career is over before he’s even 25! He never even got a freaking cup!

But the doctors tell him at the end of the season the skull fractures extent is too serious to be playing with. Matt asks how long he’ll be out, 4 more months, 6 more, another whole season. Finally the doctors stop him and tell him it’s probably the end of his time as an Avalanche.

Matt wants to cry, and scream. He does so when they get home, into his pillow like an adult. He can’t believe this, a basic NHL trip by some AHL hack up with the Oilers and now his skull is too damaged to ever play the game he was born to play ever again. 

He doesn’t want to see anyone, why would he? Especially his teammates who can all still play hockey and make history when all he can do is lie on the couch and watch every night. He talks to Patrick because at least he isn’t actually on the ice skating. Patrick’s good at making Matt feel better. He always says the diagnosis was wrong and that Matt may play again one day. Matt likes to believe him.

When it finally get’s warm enough to be outside without jackets Patrick starts getting calls and emails from his kids wondering when he’ll be home this summer. Matt can’t fly until September sometime so Patrick keeps putting off his replies. Matt tells him to go, that he’ll be fine at home with the dog and their NHL network subscription. Patrick doesn’t listen though.

He babies Matt a bit more now. Since he came home from the first doctor’s appointment in March and they said they’d do more x-rays at the beginning of May Patrick has acted like he’s made of glass. 

He always is checking up on him too, calling while he’s at the store to see what he’s doing, where he’s doing it, how he’s feeling, almost anything he can ask to make sure Matt’s 100% okay. He never puts his arm around Matt while their watching TV anymore, not wanting to jostle his head or hurt his neck. He won’t even cuddle in bed because he might hurt Matt’s head in his sleep.

At the end of June Matt’s had enough and forces Patrick to go home for awhile. At least a week for god’s sake so he can have some peace and quiet. Patrick doesn’t like the idea but he knows Matt’s coping with the fact he could never lace up a pair of skates on NHL ice again so let’s Matt ship him home to Quebec. 

2 days after Patrick’s gone Matt finally talks to someone. Landy had sent him a Facebook e-vite to come to his girlfriend’s birthday party on the first weekend in July. Matt had ignored it until now but decides maybe he’ll give Landy a call.

“Who’s going to be their?” Is the first thing he says before Gabe can even say hello. But Gabe knows him, they’ve been friends for a good few years now, best friends since Pauly left him to go to the Blues and he needed a fast replacement since he was going through all this Patrick feelings stuff and couldn’t make decisions about that kind of stuff alone.

“Mostly her family. Nate, Factor, Barrie and maybe Ginner. I asked Pauly but I don’t think his wife will let him come for the weekend.”

“She knows will just get him hammered and convince him to come back here forever.”

Gabe snorts “She knows us to well. You in? I promise I’ll tell everyone no questions.”

“Yeah.” Matt agrees “Might as well, getting a little lonely here all by myself.”

So Matt goes to the party and frankly it isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. Gabe must have told everyone to behave or something because not a single question is asked about his stupid head and the music isn’t too loud so he won’t get a head ache and he even assigns Tyson into monitoring his alcohol intake so Matt doesn’t get sick from that either.

It’s a good start he thinks to himself when he gets home. He knows it’s going to get harder, especially when the season starts but this is the only way he knows to cope with this. 

He doesn’t want to do therapy but everyone in his family keeps sending him emails suggesting it. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it really, not even Patrick. It’s easier with him sure but knowing that he actually got to finish his career and wasn’t forced to retire makes him sad at the same time. 

He keeps avoiding the subject until Patrick get’s home at the end of June and finds out from Nate that Matt’s only interactions with anyone have been with Gabe or over email. Patrick groans into the phone and that’s how Matt knows he’s probably been caught for something, that or Nate finally burnt down his new apartment and he needs them to come over and help clean up the mess.

“So you just decide you not going to talk to your teammates anymore?”

“They aren’t really my teammates if I can’t actually play with them.”

Patrick sighs and comes to sit on the coffee table in front of Matt. “Don’t say that Matt. They’re still your team even if, even if you may not play this year or the next or ever.”

Matt sighs but doesn’t say anything else

“I think you do need a therapist. If not for yourself how about for me?”

That’s not fair. That makes him feel obligated to do it. When Patrick asks him to do stuff it’s always because it’s in Matt’s best interest, because he loves Matt just as much as Matt loves him.

So Matt get’s suckered into going to see a psychiatrics at the beginning of July. He almost decides to lie and say he went and instead hides in his car in a Starbucks parking lot for a few hours but then 

Patrick decides he’ll come along to get out of the house for awhile so Matt has no choice.

To be honest, it really helps. Talking to someone not hockey related or blood related about how devastated he is and how much this ruined his entire life and being able to let all his pent up emotions   
out really helps him feel better. And after the first visit he goes back again, not even needing Patrick to convince him. It gives him a bit of a bounce back in his step. He starts taking Pasiley for walks again and going to stupid country band concerts and hanging with his team and going on date nights with Patrick again.

Everything is going well but as soon as preseason starts he starts to relapse a little. Patrick starts going to practices everyday and his friends are all playing and Matt’s just sitting on his couch wanting to scream and cry because he should be out there playing with them. 

Then when the season starts it gets worse. Patrick’s not around enough, no one is. He’s lonely and bored and has nothing to do. He doesn’t want to be in Colorado anymore. So he does the stupidest thing he’s done in years and packs a few bags and get’s in his car with the dog and drives home, without leaving a trace.

He knows that was wrong but what’s even worse is the awful drinking binge he goes on when he gets home with his none hockey friends. It doesn’t help at all, instead gives his head some nasty stinging pain and making himself miss hockey even more. He almost puts himself in the hospital the second time, his head in so much pain he calls his mom from the bar bathroom floor hoping he doesn’t die before she comes and saves him.

Thankfully when he opens his eyes again he’s in his old room at home with his mother shoving some water and some pain killers to him. Then he gets his whole ‘take goddamn care of yourself and get over your moping’ speech from her before he’s left to rest his head some more. After sleeping another hour or so he calls Patrick to let him know he’s okay because he hasn’t answered any of his texts since he left.

He explains why he did it and how stupid he knows he was and decides he wants to stay home for awhile longer, even though he misses Patrick he thinks maybe being away from hockey for awhile may help. Patrick understands and then they say their goodbyes for now. 

In March Matt goes back to Colorado, knowing they won’t be in the playoffs making it easier for his return. He mostly watches from his couch, goes to one home game at the end of the season. At least they win, Patrick saying he got them to do their best since he was in the building.

He still goes to therapy every other day now. It’s helping as much as it can. He’s trying not to use the word depressed but it sort of feels that way.

Another year passes the same way, Matt watching the games from the press box, away games on the couch. He goes to therapy still everyday and the odd head scan to make sure his internal injuries have healed as much as possible. He tries to move on every day; Patrick tries his best to help too.

Then it happens.

It’s the start of the 2017-18 season. Everyone’s talking about the Olympics. Matt keeps saying to Nate how he hopes he makes the team, knowing he deserves to. Then one day Matt’s going to his annul head scan, what should be the last one for awhile when they tell him they have some interesting news.

“Oh god what now? My ears going to fall off or something?”

“No, no.” The doctor laughs “You’re scarring, it’s healed a lot faster then we expected. We didn’t think it would be fully healed for another year or so.”

“So what does that mean?”

“You should be able to play hockey again.”

The words hit him like a bullet. He can’t even control his emotions. He actually just cries he just has to. He can play again? He had finally convinced himself that he could maybe just coach or something less stressful on his head and now they’re telling him he can play again.

“When?”

“Another month or so? Just to make sure they won’t split. Then you should be able to start practicing on the ice again.”

He can’t wait until he gets home. The second he leaves their office he’s calling Patrick.

“Hello?”

“Patrick I’m crying I can’t even, I can play Patrick!”

“Matt you’re not making any scenes.”

“My scars are healed. My head is fine Patrick I can play. You were right they were wrong I can play again I can go play for my country and lead you guys to a Stanley Cup. I can play!”

And it’s true. A month later Matt’s practicing with his team and in January he and Nate are off to Japan for the Olympics, where they win gold again. And then their making a playoff push with Matt leading the way, and then they’re in, going for the Avs first playoff run since ’14. 

“Were going to win this year.” Patrick declares in the car after they win game 1 against the Predators. 

“The series? Hell yeah it’s Nashville-“

“No were winning it all this year. You deserve a cup Matt. You never thought you would play again and now you are. You deserve a cup with your name engraved for years to come.”

That leaves Matt speechless. He doesn’t think about it that way. He knows things happen for a reason though; maybe god gave him a clean bill of health to get the Avalanche another Stanley Cup. The world works in mysterious ways like that.

They don’t win the cup that year; lose in the conference finals in game 5 to the Kings. But they do eventually win a few years down the line, a game 7 OT goal by the one and only Matt Duchene to the Candiens, Patrick’s old team.

He raises the cup and passes it to Ryan and then turns to Patrick and hugs him as tight as possible.

“You made this happen you know.” He says, watching his team raise their trophy.

“Oh yeah? I thought that was you who just scored that goal.”

Matt laughs. He couldn’t be happier. He knows he shouldn’t, knows this is going to cause tons of questions, but he turns and places a kiss on Patrick’s cheek before skating off to be with the team. A reminder of how much Patrick helped him get here, and get through his injury.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ever Fanfic so I hope it's okay. I had it proof read but then I deleted the emailed with the corrections so I had to try and fix it myself. Hope it makes sense!


End file.
